yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
