can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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