I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
