We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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