I want to stick my p in your. b.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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