i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize