I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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