My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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