there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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