If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
