Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
