No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
