What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Girls should come with a carfax report
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
