what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
where does the pee come out of this thing
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
