I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She needs sedatives and a leash
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
