I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
