just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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