I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
