So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hippo gnu deer
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
