she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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