Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
