I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Randomize
