they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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