Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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