Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
