$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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