Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
