before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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