i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
