Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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