Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
