operation have a gay friend backfired
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Omg I joined a choir last night...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
