is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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