I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
