Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
