she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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