I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
