You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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