Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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