I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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