You work out of a Hotel?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
