just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
