they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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