We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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