Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
