Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize