whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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