I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
