I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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