I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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