I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
