your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize