I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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