I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
