You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
