its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
being pregnant is like rehab
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
