someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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