girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
