I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize