I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize