franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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