You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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