dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
