dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
