My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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