but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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